Why Grace?

There is a smile that starts in my heart and takes over my face when I ponder this question.  The question of Grace has so many meanings to me right now.  By definition, it is effortless beauty, refined, a disposition to be generous or helpful, having mercy or clemency, offering a reprieve.

The Word that I love speaks that "But now for a brief moment grace has been shown from the Lord our God, to leave us an escaped remnant and to give us a peg in His holy place, that our God may enlighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving in our bondage."  Grace always gives an escape, a way out and extends love.  "For sin shall not be a master... not under the law but under grace..." and "much more did the grace of God and the gift by the grace of one man, Jesus Christ, abound to many..." and "being justified as a gift of His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus..." and "saved by grace" and on and on and on.  Grace is that free gift undeserved, better than you could ever ask or imagine.  Grace in it's truest form is effortless beauty, it is full of mercy because the Giver of Grace is full of mercy and it's life changing.  World changing.  It is my reprieve.

My children know I have a thing for grace.  My oldest will often try to use it to his advantage when he has done something that he knew better not to do.  When faced with the consequences, he has offered to me the option of extending grace.  "Mom, can't I just have a little bit of grace on this one?"  Yeah, he's good.  But, alas, most often still punished!

Now, even more than before,  I really have a thing for Grace.  We all do.  A little girl called Grace.  She was supposed to be called Amelia.  Amelia Grace Barnett to be exact.  We have always liked the name and knew a girl who is now grown up who carried the name and walks in it's meaning.  She was the coolest when we knew her back then.  Still is from what I can tell.  She made it easy to name our daughter Amelia.  Those months this past year, when I struggled to write, as we tried to find Amelia, we looked at about 4 files with little Amelia possibilities.  I still don't know if I have words to describe what it is to see a little face that needs a home and a family and ask, "Is this her?"  "Is this Amelia?"  Someone told us recently that we have a lot of love to give...such a nice compliment.  I think that we could have easily loved these little girls but we never had peace about saying yes.  We fell in love with them, one in particular, but never had the green light.  Heart breaking.  But, safe.  Peace can abound in heart break.  There is a lot that we don't know, but we have had the Lord's peace enough to know what it looks like.   And we just never had it.  Until, we opened her file.  We knew within seconds that she was ours.  She had crazy hair and a crazy cleft lip and palate, but Cory and I laughed with joy in our heart and said yes.  Seriously giggling at the computer as we stared at this little one.  Little one with spunk and life.  My good friend saw her and said, "She is awesome."  We totally agree!  Our children decided that in this picture she is saying, "I'm in an orphanage and these are mine."  She looks ready to pounce on anyone who is coming after the balls!

 Then I said, "I don't think she looks like an Amelia!"  We all (kids included) sat with that for a couple of days and pondered her name.  I don't know if it was because so many other faces had tried out that name for 24 hours or so as we considered adopting them, or if she really just wasn't an Amelia.  But she just wasn't.  She was Grace.  She was Grace as a little baby and even more so when we received updated pictures.  Full of Grace.  Lovely.  Here is my favorite picture...

          I love her smiling eyes, the pink ruffled dress and her joy.  There is a light there, despite it all.

                                                       Look at her!  Super strong!

                                                     Very expressive!  Like her siblings!

I am a lot of things, but practical is definitely in there.  I have watched two Barnett boys go through speech therapy with flying colors.  Between that experience and some pretty intense phonetic classes as a music major, I know that the name "Amelia" is hard to say.  Especially for someone without a lip closure or palate.  The m and l are a nightmare.  I want my daughter to know her name and be able to say it.  To identify with who she is and what she is called.  Grace or some form of it, can be said in the back of the throat, with one syllable and she can produce something close to it with more ease from the start.  We want to give her every opportunity, even with her very name.  So she is Grace.  Grace Yuelan Barnett.  We combined her Chinese first and middle names to make her new middle name.  It means beautiful and happy orchid.  We think it fits her well.
Carter has taken to singing songs about her when he is sweeping the kitchen floor (her picture is on our wall by our table).  It is a sweet song about "chunky face Grace."  (I told him that while it is sweet, he can't give her a complex when she comes home!)  Her name is written on a pillow and blanket in the room she will eventually share with her sister, who has written many notes and letters to her Grace.


All three kids now "ask Grace" at the dinner table when there is a dispute.   They look at her picture and wait for her ruling.  We all laugh.  She is Grace.  She is our Grace.  She has been ours for a while now.  We get to look into those eyes and kiss that sweet face in a little over a week.  What an undeserved gift to us.  To steal from a friend who coined it first, she is "amazing Grace" and it is amazing that she is ours.